worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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