I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
