On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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