Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
