He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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