i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
