whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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