My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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