Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
