I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
