Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They took my balls.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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