my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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