I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
