He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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