What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
