fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
