so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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