So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
