I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
