Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
