i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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