I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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