i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
