I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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