Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
