real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Can i not drive my cunt home
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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