just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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