Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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