Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
