my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
