we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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