so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
