ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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