A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
