He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need a beard to bite.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
