i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
