saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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