And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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