I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
