Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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