I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
love makes seman taste better
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So here I am, sexting at work.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
