Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
