drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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