who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
