Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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