i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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