matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
