Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A+ Viking dick
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