Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
