The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
