Your dad touched me again.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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