I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
