Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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