the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
