she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
