you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
