i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just google imaged poop.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
