My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
