I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
