I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
