I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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