She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
